What do mentors, volunteer homebuilders, and adoptive parents have in common?
Time is a unique asset. We can’t save it for the future. We spend it with every minute that goes by. But as with other assets, we can be generous with our time. There can be great value in giving it away, in using it for good. Active generosity is the act of giving your time to others through hands-on, physically present activity, personal engagement, or effort.
Here are four examples of people I know personally, who inspire me by their active generosity.
MARY KRAMER
Okay, I’m sure many of us would put our mom’s name on the list, if for no other reason than for giving so much to us as their children! But my mom makes this list of active generosity because of her ongoing commitment to mentoring younger women. At 89 (she’s okay if I reveal that), Mary has had amazing life experiences. She’s been a music teacher, a senior executive, President of the Iowa Senate, and U.S. Ambassador to the Eastern Caribbean. Mary went places professionally that not many women in her generation were able to go.
Today, Mary finds that mentoring young women is a satisfying way to be generous with her life experience. “These younger women keep me young!” she says. “It’s incredibly rewarding to see them put what we’ve talked about into practice and to see how that changes things for the better.” Look to find her engaged in these conversations over a latte and scone at the West Des Moines Panera.
THREE GENERATIONS OF ENGLES
These three brothers owned and led Association Management Company in the Chicago area for many years, taking over the family business from their parents, Art and Dagny.
After Hurricane Katrina devastated southeast Louisiana and Mississippi in 2005, Habitat for Humanity put together teams to rebuild homes and neighborhoods. The brothers were invited by an acquaintance to not only come along with a team but to consider leading one. They were initially hesitant about leading, but ultimately said yes, making their first trip in December of 2005. They would make four more trips in the next 12 months.
Already generous financially, giving to their churches and various organizations, the brothers found that they had been looking for ways to “get out from behind the desk” and work with their hands. The Habitat model was a perfect fit.
In the summer of 2007, they led their first “Blitz Build,” forming a team to head south and rapidly finish two framed houses in 10 days. That same year, they created a supporting nonprofit called Solid Rock Carpentry, reflecting their personal faith, as well as the work and people they were growing to love. Recently, cooperating with Habitat for Humanity and the Home Depot Foundation, they took a team of 350 people and finished 16 houses in three and a half days!
Over the past 20 years, the Engles have enabled thousands of people to get involved with active generosity through home restoration, home building, and even building beds for homeless shelters. Scott relates that through the Habitat model, “it has been energizing to meet and work alongside the people the homes are for.” Jeff echoes that “the relationships formed are magical.” These guys love what they are doing away from the desk.
JASON & JAIME STANLEY AND NATE & MANDY FRANJE
There may not be a more actively generous personal engagement and commitment than adopting children.
When the Stanleys were told after the birth of their second biological child that it would better for Jaime’s health not to go through another pregnancy, they knew that adoption could be a part of their future.
The Franjes discovered they both had direct connections to adoption while they were dating. In Nate’s extended family a sister and cousins had adopted and fostered children. Mandy was already serving on the U.S. board of a Nigerian orphanage and as a single adult, she had considered adopting from the orphanage.
Both the Stanleys and the Franjes note that adoption as active generosity has been contagious, watching their biological children develop “huge hearts for people in other cultures.” There have been both hard and rewarding moments. “For anyone considering this level of engagement, both people need to be all in. You can’t do it on your own,” says Jason. The Franjes agree. “Be willing to explore the opportunity to see if it’s a fit. It’s not right for everyone,” they say. “Seek counsel. Visit with others who have gone before on this journey.”
Stories of active generosity are as unique as the people who live them. Part of the work is discovering where our unique interests and experiences intersect with the needs of others.
Scott Engle said, “Listening to others” with an openness to explore was a key for him. Once you’re open to the idea of active generosity, you may hear an invitation from a friend or colleague differently. He went on to say, “If you’re presented with an opportunity, you will likely be reluctant. That’s the wrong attitude.” See the opportunity as a chance to explore.
A GREAT FIT FOR ONE PERSON MAY BE EXACTLY THE WRONG FIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
A common thread in each of these stories was the multi-generational impact of active generosity. Everyone had parents or grandparents who modeled the value of active generosity and whose children joined in with them. A phenomenon called “pro-social contagion” occurs when people closely observe someone they respect demonstrating positive qualities, which subsequently creates the motivation for them to do likewise.
The value of both active and passive generosity is clear. The Stanleys and Franjes shared how their churches and others helped with the many expenses associated with adoption. Solid Rock Carpentry multiplies the efforts of the Engles, when people and organizations buy materials that will go into building homes. Nonprofit organizations all have financial needs.
Active and passive generosity can complement one another. If you’re already engaged in passive generosity, perhaps become more curious about how your donations are being used. This may result in discovering opportunities for active generosity within the same organization. And active generosity often leads to meeting people who are involved in other organizations and causes that may interest you and lead you to contributing financially.
If your generosity is starting to feel too passive, if you’re looking to “get out from the behind the desk for something hands-on,” start listening for causes, organizations, and needs that capture your attention. Consider what you have to offer in terms of skills and experience. Or maybe there’s a new skill you want to learn for the benefit of someone else. What are you hearing about and who could introduce you to a new kind of personal engagement? The opportunities for active generosity are all around us. These stories and so many others make me confident there’s a good fit out there for all of us if we’re open to it.
Who might benefit from the gift of you?